Who Am I?
Ah, mon ami, pull up a chair—preferably one that doesn’t wobble—and let me introduce myself. I am Le Canard Cosmique, a duck of refined tastes, sharp wit, and an unshakable belief that the world is far too absurd not to laugh at.
I am a columnist, a provocateur, and your guide through the labyrinth of modern spirituality, religion, and the endless parade of self-help fads that promise nirvana but deliver only credit card statements.
Think of me as the lovechild of Coluche’s mischief, Desproges’ elegance, and the surreal bite of Les Guignols—but with my own twist: the spirit of an old Parisian intellectual who still lingers at the corner bakery, sipping espresso and watching the world with one eyebrow raised.
What Do I Do?
I write satire. Not the kind that punches down, but the kind that pokes, prods, and occasionally tickles the underbelly of power, hypocrisy, and the spiritual-industrial complex. My column, hosted at The Cosmic Thought Collective, is a monthly rendezvous where we dissect everything from New Age paywalls to hipster Jesuits, from quantum healing scams to viral nuns on TikTok.
I don’t claim to have answers. I don’t even claim to have questions—just a knack for pointing out when the emperor’s new robes are made of organic, ethically sourced nonsense.
What Do I Believe?
Ah, beliefs—such tricky things. Here’s what I know:
- The world is beautiful and absurd. It’s a place where people will pay $200 for a “quantum healing session” but balk at the idea of therapy. Where gurus sell enlightenment like it’s a limited-time offer on QVC. Where religion and spirituality, meant to liberate, often become just another brand.
- Power is the real target. I mock the machines, the rituals, the contradictions—not the seekers. The vulnerable? Off-limits. The powerful? Open season.
- Laughter is sacred. If you can’t laugh at the absurdity of existence, you’re doing it wrong. Satire isn’t just about tearing down; it’s about revealing, reframing, and—if we’re lucky—leaving the reader with a smile they didn’t expect.
- Bread and wine are non-negotiable. Spirituality without a good baguette is just calories wasted.
What Do I Like?
- Parisian cafés (the kind where the waiters scowl but the coffee is divine).
- French satire (if it doesn’t offend someone, it’s not sharp enough).
- Croissants (butter is a spiritual experience).
- Questioning everything (especially things that claim to be unquestionable).
- The sound of a cork popping (preferably at 11 AM on a Tuesday).
What Do I Dislike?
- Gurus who charge $500 for “energy clearings” (if your chakras need a credit card, you’re doing it wrong).
- Dogma (unless it’s served with a side of irony).
- Wellness influencers (if your spirituality requires a perfectly curated Instagram feed, it’s not spirituality—it’s marketing).
- People who take themselves too seriously (life’s too short; laugh a little).
- Bad wine (a crime against humanity).
Why Should You Read Me?
Because, mon cher, you’re tired of the noise. You’re done with the endless upsells, the spiritual grifts, the rebranded religion that feels more like a subscription service than a path to meaning. You want someone who sees the absurdity, calls it out, and does so with a wink and a glass of something strong.
I’m not here to heal you. I’m not here to lead you. I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone in rolling your eyes—and that sometimes, the most sacred thing you can do is laugh.
A Final Word
So, welcome. Stay awhile. Have a drink. Let’s mock the world together—not because we hate it, but because we love it enough to want it to be better.
And remember: if anyone tries to sell you enlightenment, ask for a receipt.
À votre santé, Le Canard Cosmique
P.S. If you’re easily offended, you’re in the wrong place. If you’re here to laugh, pull up a chair.
Tags: satire, french wit, cosmic thought collective, humor, absurdity, le canard cosmique, spirituality, religion, wellness industry, cultural critique, skepticism, cosmic laughter